Reclaiming Nephthys and the Sacred Power of Grief.

Nephthys - Goddess of Death and Grief

When did grief become taboo?

When was it decided that our unhealed trauma was not palatable? That the act of free expression of our grief signalled weakness - a lack of courage and fortitude?

Grief that is forced into the shadows does not simply dissipate or dissolve. It settles in the womb, creating a fracture within our very essence that overtime distorts into deep core woundings.

When our trauma and grief is dismissed or disenfranchised it imprints itself and becomes energetically stored in the womb, along with all the other feelings and emotions, pain and trauma that society deems too disturbing and uncomfortable to be witnessed or expressed.

Our society prefers our grief to be kept to ourselves, acceptable behind closed doors, but passing into the realms of uncouthness, undignified, once outside of the privacy of the home and even puts a date stamp on it, with the expectation that after a certain amount of time has passed we should be well ‘over it’ and back to ‘normal’ functioning daily life. Even in the early days of loss, society praises and rewards those who appear to be coping with their loss and grief, no matter what the reality is – as long as outward appearances are not going to create discomfort or icky awkwardness leading to, heaven forbid it, a conversation about death, loss and longing.

I hold the firm belief that looking around at the world we are currently navigating as a planet, the aggression and violence that is so rife is the DIRECT consequence of the forced suppression of grief.

Nephthys’ Return.

Rewind a few millennia to the culture and society of Ancient Egypt where the attitude towards the expression of grief was very different.

Before the Greco Roman invasion, Nephthys was deeply revered and worshipped, alongside her sister Isis. Her role was linked closely to death, grief and funerary rites, during which professional mourners, usually women known as the ‘Hawks of Nephthys’, would keen and lament loudly while presiding over the ceremonies.

Why is it that Isis is so well known and loved today while her twin sister remains deep in the shadows?

When Greco Roman rule swept the land, Isis became elevated, her association with the light and healing held in high regard. While her sister was sidelined, pushed into the shadows. The act of public displays of mourning was actually banned, while Nephthys and her associations with death and darkness became relegated to ‘minor’ roles. Yet when you consider the massive importance that the Egyptian people placed on the act of dying and what occurs in the afterlife, it’s clear that Nephthys, the Goddess of Death and overseer of the embalming process, was anything but minor.

Isis and Nephthys were worshipped together as equals right up until the Greco Roman period when the poets took anything related to the dark feminine and demonized or ostracized Her, pushing Nephthys into the shadow of obscurity while simultaneously raising the status of Isis to the Great Queen we know and love today – the sister shadow in action long before the burning times.

Restoring the Balance

It’s time to reclaim Nephthys, to recognise the importance of her role. Isis is said to have reanimated Osiris, and yet the truth is that without the presence of Nephthys mourning alongside her sister, offering her support and protection, Isis alone would never have succeeded. Both sisters are vital, and it is time to restore that balance between the light and dark, to honour both sisters together as equals – and it is time for our grief to be visible once more.

Sacred Power of Grief

When we are free to express our grief and mourn the loss of a loved one, not just when in the confines of our home, but publicly and unapologetically, it allows the natural process of acceptance and integration to occur. It confirms the reality of the depth of the loss, helping to navigate through the surreal and disorienting newness of life without your loved one.

It allows the understanding that life will never be the same, that you are not the same person you were before the loss and it allows you to explore what that means for the person you are becoming.

This is why Nephthys is so needed, she does not shun the act of mourning. She knows the sacred power of grief she sits within the grief, she does not try to fix it, she witnesses and laments right along with you.

In this way the act of mourning is a revolutionary act, reclaiming our rights to grieve as we feel, with free expression that is not met with disapproval and discomfort, but understanding, acceptance and compassion. This way our grief does not remain in our wombs, stagnant and distorted. Rather it is allowed to flow within us as a healthy expression of love.

·        This work is part of a deeper initiatory journey through the Dark Feminine held within Descend into She exploring Nephthys along with Lilith, Hekate, Ereshkigal, The Morrigan and Baba Yaga.